I think those words, “it’s been a long time coming” are from a song in the ‘70’s era – they seem so familiar to me. But when they surged into my consciousness a few minutes ago, I realized they carried a specific message.
I haven’t written in a very long time, almost a year, maybe longer. I just wasn’t interested. No Muse knocking at my door, no character from the mystery series I write insisting that there was more to tell…just nothing. Sort of blah thinking about any sort of creativity.
I was, I now think, trying to find my way after becoming a widow.
I guess losing a spouse is different for everyone. But for me, the loss had occurred over a decade earlier, more if I am honest, so that the physical death was just a period at the end of a very long and convoluted sentence. Nevertheless, there was an emotional process that I didn’t recognize but that was essential for me to be able to move forward. As I approach the 2-year mark of his passing, I realize that finally I have emerged from the shadows into the light, that I have found happiness again, and that I feel free.
And, I’ve been thinking again about writing. I was 20,000 words into a new book when the desire to write abandoned me. A new character had introduced herself, and I am curious to see what she may have to say. I read some of my old essays – the words in them encouraged me to write the one that you are reading.
Life is a journey and often the road takes us in a direction we never anticipated. It has certainly happened to me. I have found a love I never expected. Happiness has again become a companion. Life is changing for me as I enter my own ‘70’s (no pun intended), but I am content and mellow.
It’s time to write – it’s been a long time coming.