When we are young, we have our lives all figured out. Or at least we think we do. For example, when I started college I thought that by the time I was in my early 30’s my life would be perfect, I would be settled in a wonderful marriage, whatever “job” I had - if I even had one - would be stress free, and that my free time would be spent at the country club. Life, however, had other ideas. The decade of my 30’s turned out to be the living epitome of Dickens’ comment “it was the best of times; it was the worst of times”. I was divorced, lost custody of two young children, and became an alcoholic. Fortunately, before that decade ended, I also found recovery and AA.
In the intervening years - over two decades now - I have become a changed person. Someone with expectations quite different from those held by that young woman in her 20’s, and someone with a much more realistic and accepting view of life on life’s terms. Hitting an emotional and spiritual bottom, which is what happens to those of us who are alcoholics or addicts, is a prerequisite to focusing on the necessary spiritual cure for the disease of addiction. From the point where we admit our powerlessness and turn our lives over to the care of a Power greater than ourselves, we begin a new life journey and an interior change. Most of us, however, do continue to live a traditional life.
Today, I happened upon an article written about a man from Chattanooga who was my classmate in elementary school. Although not an alcoholic or addict, he too underwent a complete spiritual rebirth which did, in fact, cause him to undertake a totally non-traditional life. Randy Weinberg was a scholar, an athlete, and an achiever. Valedictorian at Baylor School, five Mid-South wrestling championships, Phi Beta Kappa at Princeton, Rhodes Scholar to Oxford, delaying his acceptance to medical school. His life of achievement and success was laid out before him. And then he went to Thailand, had a spiritual experience, and became a Buddhist monk. You can read the entire article about Randy here: http://www.timesfreepress.com/news/2013/apr/28/cook-column-the-monk-and-the-wrestler/?opinioncolumns.
Reading about Randy this morning I was struck by the fact that none of us ever know what life has in store for us. I am sure growing up, Randy never expected that he would relinquish all of his worldly possessions to wander Thailand owning only a bowl and relying on the kindness of strangers to feed him. Randy’s comment in the newspaper article that really hit home for me, however, was this: "I was 24," he said. "And felt so weary and exhausted. I didn't know how to appreciate what is. How to enjoy ... being. I was so busy becoming successful." I knew exactly what he meant. Trying to be successful by marrying the right person, trying to be successful by having that country club membership, trying to be successful by being in The Junior League, trying to be successful by living in the “right” neighborhood, being a partner in the right law firm, yada yada yada. For me, those drives for success were deadly and nearly killed me. Truly. Nearly killed me.
My journey has been, of course, quite different from Randy’s, but both of us had life experiences which turned our feet to an interior path. Although I do not practice Buddhism, I found that the acceptance of its teaching that “life is difficult” was one of the most freeing concepts which I embraced in recovery, and remembering that truism has helped me in my own journey. Life is so much more than things, than status, than having. Thank you, Randy, for reminding me of the true nature of our journey.
